Tuesday Twitter roundup

No justice to be found here:

Burr hasn't had an original thought in his head since he made his first clay ash tray and it broke in half in the kiln. Both he and Devin Nunes consider several people refusing to testify as "no evidence," which makes both of them parties to the collusion itself.

I...don't know what any of that means, or what it pertains to, but I am duly warned and somewhat intimidated.

Just a quick note on Netiquette, whether it's in the AP Stylebook or not: When you post a link to a news article and you set something off in quotes, like "stick to their guns," it's usually a direct quote extracted from the article. You made me read all of their nonsense (twice) before I realized nobody actually said that. Whatever humorous value that had has been forever lost to me after that suffering...

Yeah, because people are dying unnecessarily. But what are a few thousand lives lost when that money can allow the wealthy to buy a second boat? Sheesh, these guys have ice running through their veins...

Riiiight, because when Deputy Assistant Governor McCrory donned his official make believe law enforcement jacket, we knew our safety & security were in good hands. Smirk.

Yeah, like being able to turn a 650% profit on a stinky former chicken plant. I know, sometimes my cleverness amazes even me...

That's even more obscure and verbose than your usual pontifications. Twitter should be fined, and maybe imprisoned, for increasing the number of characters people can use.

Something you apparently didn't get, if you have to ask that question.

All seven of his Congressional papers? Might need one of those big envelopes with the little string to seal it...

I saw a climate denier the other day say something like, "That's just high tides." Well no duh, Einstein. When sea levels rise, the high tides will rise as well.

Dallas must have hit the bourbon early due to the snowfall, but it's going to take more than tomato juice with cayenne pepper to recover from this Twitter hangover...

You really need to quit while you're behind, dude. Just because you don't think you did anything wrong, it doesn't automatically follow that you must not have. I believe the women, and you should, too.

I really (really) don't want to see this jerk return to the General Assembly:

Rucho, 69, said Monday that he has spent just one night away from his Fountains at Mooresville Town Square apartment since filing. His wife remains in the couple’s Matthews house, which Rucho said they have been trying to sell for two years.

The former chairman of the powerful Senate Finance Committee said he left the legislature last year partly because he wanted the flexibility to move anywhere when his house finally sold.

“Our next step will be to find some property (in District 34) and build on it,” he added.

And if you don't win, will your next step be to find some other District and then ride into town with all your carpets rolled up on a wagon? Okay, that may be a little obscure for some of you non-historians, but basically I'm calling him a Carpetbagger. And I should be ashamed for using such an antiquated and derogatory term to describe a Yankee interloper...Crap, I did it again. I'm sorry...

On that embarrassing note, here's your Onion:

Oh no! They got to the Onion too...

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